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In some families, the invalidation becomes extreme, leading to physical abuse and even murder.

However, invalidation can also be accomplished by verbal manipulations that invalidate in ways both subtle and confusing.” This post will discuss two aspects of invalidation that Dr. The first involves the relationship between the concept of invalidation and a similar concept from family systems pioneer Paul Watzlawick that he called . When I first read Linehan, I thought of a similar concept that I had read about in a classic book in family systems theory by Watzlawick, Beavin, and Jackson first published way back in 1967 called .

This means that they get to treat you the way they want, and manoeuvre the situation so you don't get to feel the appropriate responses. Of all the abuses heaped upon daughters of narcissistic mothers, this might be the worst.

They dismiss and undermine your your feelings and emotions to make you feel only what's acceptable to them that you feel.

Very few would purposefully invalidate someone else.One disqualifies oneself when one is afraid to say what one really feels or means for fear that others will reject it.Hence disqualifiers say things in a way that allows them “plausible deniability.” They can claim they were misinterpreted if another important family members objects. The answer has to do with something that the psychoanalysts, who got a lot of things wrong, got right.When we are invalidated by having our feelings repudiated, we are attacked at the deepest level possible, since our feelings are the innermost expression of our individual identities. As a parent I want to teach my kids these things I’ve learned.Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real. So when they felt bad or angry I tried to help them find a way to make themselves feel better.




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Clearly, such huge time periods cannot be fitted into the Bible without compromising what the Bible says about the goodness of God and the origin of sin, death and suffering—the reason Jesus came into the world (See Six Days? He said, This only makes sense with a time-line beginning with the creation week thousands of years ago.