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I’ve found in my clinical work with singles and couples that there are a few red flags that are more serious – or redder, if you will – than others. There’s no need to expand any further – you’ll know it when you see it, and you have to kick that date to the curb right away.

If you break into a mild sweat as you read the list below, it can’t mean something good! There’s no question that dating can be stressful and intimidating, and that a little alcohol can help grease the wheels and put you at ease. Don’t overthink it – just do it and thank me for it later. Saying “yes” to an invitation for a date does not grant your date a VIP pass to your most private thoughts and feelings.

Can you trust him to value your feelings even when he doesn’t understand you?

He’s perpetually late, insensitive, or maybe there is no spark between you.

If he doesn’t offer to pay, expects you to split the bill, or asks for free drinks at the bar, generosity isn’t his thing.

“Men mess up and then we feel badly about it.” One of my best friends in graduate school used to say this.

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' " said Loker, executive editor of Connect2Mason.com, a student media site. I feel like, in general, people my age are not as quick on their feet to just talk on the phone." The bias against unexpected phone calls stems in good part from the way texting and e-mail have conditioned young people to be cautious about how they communicate when they are not face to face, experts say.

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So before we start holding others up to scrutiny to see if they are worthy of us, maybe we ought to work first on becoming a “right person” for someone else. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles offered this counsel: “If the choice is between reforming other Church members [including fiancés, spouses, and children] or ourselves, is there really any question about where we should begin?

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