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This mistake realization may have led to yet another, less-obvious mistake that reads like a geometry proof: IF: I like a guy, am attracted to him, and he is Christian (a Bible-believing, church-going, small group-leading Christian), THEN: He is perfect for me and we are meant to be. He stopped initiating conversations and actually moved without letting me know (I know, this makes me sound like a crazy stalker… And yes, I’m aware that all crazy stalkers say that). “Perfect Christian man” mistake number one happened in college. Do you know any solid Christian girls who are becoming seriously interested in a non-Christian guy? There was once a time in my idealistic past where I thought that all “good” Christian girls would automatically eliminate any non-Christian as an option in their dating pursuits.Idealism long gone, I now see Christian girls dating non-Christian guys as quite a possibility and in fact perhaps a growing trend.He was an officer of our college Christian organization, he was attractive, funny, smart, and *gasp* seemingly interested in me. So why, when we were having the DTR (define the relationship) talk a few months later, was I so heartbroken to not be walking away with a boyfriend (slash fiancé, slash perfect Christian husband)? A Christian I was attracted to, smart, funny, and I had good chemistry with? We went to a few dinners and shows together, hung out with our Christian friends, watched movies and cuddled. Probably because I had let my imagination – my hopes, dreams, expectations – run away with me. Somebody must have me on “prank’d”, ’cause this kind of thing just doesn’t happen. No wonder it hasn’t worked out with others in the past!

Having decided we are going to spend Eternity with Jesus, we need to be VERY selective about with whom we choose to share our earthly life. In Genesis God Himself said: Your own wish list may include factors such as tall, good-looking, own home and car, secure job, similar cultural background, non-drinker/smoker/gambler, kind to animals, sense of humor etc. Because they were christened or confirmed at a certain age, or walked down the aisle and signed a decision card, that doesnt necessarily mean that they have understood their need to repent of their own sin and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. So why does God feel so strongly about this matter? Many Christian women who think about getting married to someone who doesnt have a place for Jesus in their lives, cant see the harm, if the man they love is morally upright. But I ended up paying a heavy price in personal loneliness, marital discord, and, worst of all, disruption to my own fellowship with God. For nearly forty years I was married to a person who made no place for God in his life, yet was a good-living person, and an upright citizen. As they say, love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.Well that special someone is out there looking for you too. Founded by a Christian psychologist, e Harmony is committed to helping Christian singles find love every day.And we are confident in our ability to help you, too.The tally amongst my own four children so far: Divorce because of domestic violence and gambling, Separation because of incompatibility; Divorce because their spouse turned out to be emotionally unstable; Separation because their spouse had a severe personality disorder, and refused to take the prescribed medicine; Separation because of money being used as a means of manipulative control, and because of unrealistic expectations; Separation because of apprehended violence, manipulation and gambling. To me, the rough road represented life with Christ but without Bob. I guess I was treating marriage like a two-legged stool (just Bob and I) and expecting it to stand up! Here are some issues I now know I should have considered or that I would have had to consider if I were to marry in this present era.The good road represented life with Bob, (whom I could see and touch), but without having to put Christ first in my life. And speaking of the children, will your husband agree with your sending them to Sunday School, taking them to church, taking part in whatever rites your church practices; or will he say that children should not be brain-washed with religion, but should be allowed to wait until they are adult, and can then make up their own minds?

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